What To See And What To Avoid

I know it's been a while... I've been very busy lately. I'll post full reviews soon but I want to give you a quick list of DOs and DONTs specially since one great movie seems to been getting bad reviews for some reason. So let's get down to it;

• The Hobbit. Go watch it now! This movie is getting bad reviews but I think it's even at Lord Of The Rings level. I know it's kind of the same but... who doesn't want more LOTR movies?! And for me it's even better at some points. So, I'll write a full review but you.... Go... NOW.
• 007: Skyfall. Also loved it. Also a bit more than the first one. I has a lot of flaws but as a James Bond movie it works really well. I didn't really liked the villan though (but movie critics say he's really good).
• Rise Of The Guardians. Very good. Another good excuse to take your kids to the movies.
• The Expendibles 2. It's not a good movie but it's a bit better than the first one so, if you liked that one, you'll like this one.
• That's My Boy. Avoid like the ebola virus! I'm a big fan of Adam Sandler (exception being Tropic Thunder) but this is for me his worst movie ever. It's one of those that think that "grose" equals "funny"... why? Dunno. (But I blame a very funny movie for this: Scary Movie).

Hollywood's creativity

Some years ago Hollywood started re-visiting anything instead of basing new movies in new ideas. I was happy to hear that Transformers was being made a movie and even happier when all the comic book heroes were getting movies again (and even great ones this time).

But it's now getting to a point that can only be described as ridiculous  They have just released Judge Dredd, Total Recall and the likes... but when I see the pipeline I just feel sick:

Carrie
Frankenstein
Godzilla
Highlander
The Lone Ranger
Mortal Kombat
RoboCop
Scarface
Short Circuit
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Twilight Zone
Dune

And the list goes on and on...

Hollywood PLEASE STAPH!

And I'm not even counting sequels:

Girl in Progress

---

Should you go watch it?

Yes. Specially if you liked Spanglish.

---

Spoiler free review.

Let me first tell you how I arrived to this movie. For months I've been dying to see Brave with no luck. When it was released, my kids went to their grandparents' for the summer. They watch it there and told me not to watch it since they wanted to watch it again with me, so I waited. Then, when I went to pick them up, we went to the movies but with their cousins (who had already seen it too) so we saw Batman instead.

When we were back, we went to the movie theater again but the family vote overruled my attempt to watch Brave (or Batman again) and we went for Ice Age 4 instead. When I tried again, I had multiple 2x1 passes so I took my neighbors' kids with us and one of them had just seen Brave so we watched Paranorman instead.

This weekend everything was perfect for Brave... nothing else that my kids would want to see was showing and we headed there. The problem is that we arrived late and all the seats to see Brave were taken by the time we arrived (and I didn't buy them beforehand because of the 2x1s). So I asked the cashier what else was good for children and she said "Girl in progress" is for 12 year olds up. The name in Mexico is something like "Training mom" which sounded like "Training Dad" which is the Spanish name given in Mexico to The Game Plan which my kids loved so I bought them without a clue what the movie was about.

Let me start by saying that the Spanish name for the movie is misleading since:
1) It's not really about a girl training her mom.
2) It's nothing like The Game Plan.
3) It's not really suitable for kids.

But let's review the movie: I really liked it. I did suffer a little since my 8 years old daughter was watching a movie where "losing virginity" is not only mentioned but... (won't spoil it).

So it's not really a comedy or a kids' film but the funny thing is that both my daughter and son loved it (not sure why) and it was in English!

The movie is really about a girl with a somewhat irresponsible mom. The kid decides to "become of age" by forcing herself through common adolescent events.

The acting of both is great and the story, although not 100% new is really touching. Both my wife and I cried (which means that you really get into the movie), but that probably can only happen to parents. Did you cry in Spanglish? Almost same scene here.

This is a movie obviously written by a female author since the protagonists are all women and the men are side stories, dumb, jerks or just feeling-hiders that need women to open their eyes. But this is not a bad thing, it is a very nice turn from the latest common type of movies.

Note-worthy is the fact that Eugenio Dervez has again a somewhat important role that is not really funny but interesting (go rent Under the same moon if you don't know what I'm talking about).

So, go watch this movie instead of The Expendables 2 and wish me luck on watching Brave!

The Dark Knight Rises

---

Should you go watch it?

Yes. Specially if you liked the previous ones.

---

Spoiler free review.

I must first clarify that I have only seen it once, doubted to Spanish in a theater with less-than-usual screening quality. I was planning for my second visit, this time in English but there were so many kids in my car that I ended up seeing ParaNorman instead (sadly). But this still gives me an opinion on the voices: Batman's is for sure better in Spanish (since I don't think it changed from the previous 2 movies). Catwoman's, Bruce Wayne's and the rest are probably pretty well doubted but I'm dying to see it in English hoping Bane's better that the one I experienced at that crappy theater.

So, the movie is good. I really like the fact that it closes a circle with the previous two. The plot is good. If I hadn't heard on the radio that it was almost 3 hours long I wouldn't have guessed it. It's such an entertaining film that it doesn't feel long at all. It feels 2 hours long (or even shorter since it starts 8 years after the previous one and you wished they showed more story there).

It's not a problem free movie and it's not the best of the 3. Everybody is going to like the second one best (because of the Joker of course) but for me it's better, worse and the same in many respects. The first one gave us the first great Bruce Wayne (but no Batman). The second one gave us a great Joker (even if not completely based on the comics' essence) but the third one doesn't really add much to those two. At the same time it has more characters, interesting connections to the comics and great action scenes. I'll tell you why it's the same in the spoilerish section.

One question you may have if you haven't seen it is: "do Anne Hathaway or the kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun (great show BTW) ruin it?". It's a fair question and I know I had it. The answer is, amazingly, no! Anne is good as a Catwoman (that is never called that name) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is almost the main character in the movie and he does a great job (and no, he's not Azrael).

Now, I think everybody is finding Anne as a great Catwoman but I'm not. I really think she didn't ruin the movie but she's not great. She's not a femme-fatale to me. If Catwoman hadn't been drawn as she has been all these years and if Michelle hadn't played the Selina Kyle that she played, maybe I could buy Anne's role. So I don't like her as Catwoman but at least she didn't mess up the part as Katie Holmes did in the first one.

And the movie is far from great. I didn't like the twists, the stupid ways Gotham citizens act, Batman's uncomfortable suit and lack of screen time, Bruce Wayne's lack of screen time, or the fact that they had one of the best story arcs in comic history as basis and took almost nothing from it (just threw a bone or two for us comic book geeks). They still haven't brought Batman to the screen (that includes all the old ones). But the worst part is Batman's fighting skill. It's just wrong. The suit doesn't help but there seems not to have been any martial arts consultant around to explain how Batman survived that long with the worst fighting technique (was he trained by Kung Fu Panda?).

So, the best adaptation of comics to a movie is still the Avengers, the best Batman movie is still The Dark Knight (though I'm still waiting for a real Batman movie), the best Bruce Wayne movie is still Batman Begins, the best Catwoman movie is still Batman Returns and no-one has come close to bringing Knightfall to screen yet. But the movie is the best of the summer and a fun film to watch more than once.

Now, someone please tell me... how the hell does Christian Bale change his body so drastically?!

---

Spoilerish review.

Ok so why is TDKR the same as the previous one (The Dark Knight)?... Show/Hide the rest of the spoilerish review

...Well it almost seems that they wrote this film thinking about The Joker... the villain is not Bane from the comics (and at least not Bane from Batman & Robin) but is actually The Joker. Does the same thing and for the same reason. I know that one of the twists explains a different reason but it's really not: he just wants to create chaos and make the citizens do harm to the city by themselves for some weird (insane?) reason. So, it's like watching the previous movie again: the villain threatens the city and forces them to behave stupidly and a couple of heroes have to show how good people should behave. It's like these movies are propaganda against revolution: anarchy is BAD, it's CHAOS and makes YOU the terrorist!. The previous one was worst in that sense since Batman even had to become The Big Brother to save the day.

Another thing I hated about the movie was how stupid the "Harvey Dent was good" lie was, how important it was for Gordon and what big impact it had in the city (to the point were Batman was not needed anymore). So Bruce Wayne was not Batman but also not Bruce Wayne for not good reason. And yet, nobody notices that Batman and Bruce seem to appear and disappear at the same time.

There is one amazing comic in which Batman becomes an addict (with Bane's venom, by the way) and he has to cure himself by... well, I won't spoil it, read it! (this is the one). The point is: why having such amazing comics nobody seems to be able to make a closely-great movie?

The Double

---

Should you go watch it?

No. Another good idea gone Hollywood.

---

Spoiler free review.

Hollywood has just been about money for a long time. When something gives them money they copy it over and over. One good example is "The Double" (and thousands of other movies like this). Since the James Bond films were blockbusters they just copy the formula. Even with the bad things. Even if they insert a new idea.

This movie has a very interesting idea for a story but it has 3 really major issues:

1) They want to make the Russians the bad guys again. Why don't just place it in cold war times?
2) The very common even-expert-assassins-cannot-hit-the-good-guy-2-meters-away-with-a-shotgun problem (James Bond inheritance like the bad-guy-never-kills-the-good-guy-when-he's-caught-him-and-then-tells-him-the-plan-giving-him-time-to-escape problem). I'm tired of this happening in every spy or action movie.
3) The also common problem of forcing a twist even if it doesn't make sense with everything else that happened. This is too big of a problem to ignore.

It also has 2 other problems:

1) The trailer spoils an early twist... why the hell did they do that?! It's revealed early in the movie but it's still a twist in the plot that may have surprised me had I not seen the trailer. If you want to see this movie, avoid the trailer.
2) Topher Grace. He's not Venom. He's not a spy. He's that's 70s show kid... give him something funny or at most romantic to do!

Richard Gere is ok as a spy actually.


So the film is entertaining (and even good?) if you ignore all of the above but I cannot do that anymore... 

Cowboys & Aliens

---

Should you rent it?

Yes. It's quite entertaining.

---

Spoiler free review.

For some reason I postponed watching this movie for a long time. I love science fiction movies but I consider this movie not science fiction but SciFi... This is probably not an official differentiation but that's how I do it: movies with both science and fiction I call them science fiction. And then the movies about space, aliens, time travel and other topics often refer to in science fiction movies but without any good science I call SciFi. Here's an easy way to differentiate: if they never try to explain how the things happens or they give a bad shallow explanation: it's a SciFi flick.

So if you haven't seen any of these science fiction movies, do it soon: Gattaca, Star Wars, Blade Runner, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Total Recall, Contact...

BTW... I even consider science fiction some technically SciFi movies like The 6th Day because they at least imagine a different way in which some common day appliances would work in the future.

But back to Cowboys & Aliens: I was saying that I postponed watching this movie because the mixture of cowboys and aliens sounds a lot like SciFi (fiction but not science) and it doesn't make a lot of sense since, if you agree aliens as legitimate science fiction material, why not in the days of the old west? It may have more to do with the fact that I don't believe aliens have ever visited us and that they surely must exist but very very far away with no real way to reach here considering even the closest starts are light years away and that mass cannot really reach light speeds... unless Higg's field can be manipulated to... I think I digress again :)

But the movie is good. Daniel Craig is an amazingly badass cowboy (and to think I didn't like the idea of him becoming James Bond before that movie came out) and Harrison Ford is kind of a cute badass... like a puppy that you're supposed to be afraid of but just can't. Olivia Wilde is sexy as hell even with the unrevealing dresses she wears all the time.

Obviously it's not an eye opening movie with a deep message, it's just an action film with, well, cowboys & aliens. And they even bothered to show you what the aliens look like (unlike Contact by the way). The thing is: I was really enjoying the cowboys movie and the aliens kind of ruined it for me. I wish the "monsters" would've been something else and it could have become more than an action flick... something closer to the great movie I consider 3:10 to Yuma to be (if you haven't seen that one... leave work right now and head to blockbuster... I said now!).

So, a popcorn worthy movie that luckily spends most of the time on the cowboys and with good visual effects... go rent.

The Grey

---

Should you rent it?

Hell NO.

---

Spoiler free review.

This is where I totally disagree with Movie Bob. In his review he speaks wonders of this movie. For this  reason, I rented it as soon as it was available in Blockbuster (a couple of days ago). But as I watched it, I couldn't help but wondering if I remembered wrong about Bob giving it a good review because for me is one of the worst movies I've seen lately!

The thing about me is that I like to get into a movie and live it, so I hate when movies remind me (by bad acting, forced scenes, breaking the laws of physics, etc) that it's just a movie. When a victim in a horror movie acts in a stupid horror-movie-cliche way it takes me out of the character and I stop being afraid.

The Gray is about tough guys after a crash accident in the middle of nowhere. The toughest of them is Liam Neeson. And we can all agree that Neeson can play bad-ass characters (e.g. Zeus, Aslan, Qui-Gon Jinn, etc).

And who doesn't love survival movies with a though guy? I love them for sure.

The problem is that it never makes any sense. Specially since the villains are wolves. As soon as you see the clearly-computer-generated wolves behaving like monsters instead of wolves you can't enjoy the movie. Wolves would never behave in the way they do in this movie. I won't tell you what they do in it because I don't spoil even bad movies. But there's not one scene with a wolf or more in it that makes any sense. The wolves are even way bigger than they really are with no explanation.


So I tried to get passed that and assumed they were some kind of different monsters that the movie just failed to explain about and try to enjoy as a pure action/horror/survival/badass film. Still, I couldn't enjoy it.


The human characters are forced and stupid. They are not developed. Even Liam's character is supposed to have some important past that, when revealed, it's not shocking or even important to the story as I believe the director intended to be. 


And as if that was not enough, there was not survival guide either! Liam starts running the show but does nothing useful! Well, a thing or two, but not enough to really survive in a real-not-movie-set environment. You won't learn a thing about survival in this movie.


So better go rent Alive if you haven't seen that one.


I really hated this movie and it could have been a great one. I can't still believe the good score in IMDB and Bob's review. Just can't. If you see it, it's probably a good thermometer to learn if you have similar taste to mine.

---

Spoilerish review.

There's still one way to have SOME fun with this movie... Show/Hide the rest of the spoilerish review

...see, as you'll probably guess really early into the film (if you see it), a lot of the guys will die. And they will die one by one (believe me: no big spoiler there). The only fun you can get out of this movie is by trying to guess:

1) Who will be alive at the end of the movie.
2) Who will die next (as someone dies).

Actually it would be a great betting game.

I won't give you an example of un-wolf-like behavior but I'll give you an example of how useless Liam was... there is a scene where someone is stuck in a river and about to drawn. Liam does 1 smart thing to keep him alive but never tries to help him get un-stuck!

And then you don't get to learn how to survive after being wet in a -10 degrees weather... it seems you just get out of the water and survive as if it was the beach!

Save your money...

Oh, and if you have seen it, you probably didn't stay through the credits (I know I didn't) and you missed a bit more of the ending. No surprise there. We all knew it was going to be a good fight... so what?